I won’t mince my words here; I hate public transport. It’s never ready when you are and it’s slow, expensive, dirty and full of other people. The only thing public transport has going for it is the fact that it takes no effort on your part once aboard. But even then it never seems to take you where you want to go. How often have you caught a bus or a train and it’s dropped you exactly at your destination? Never is the answer. Unless your final destination was the train station (and if it was you need help, and probably a girlfriend too). So, you then need to find another way to complete your journey.
My last use of public transport was the train (into London). I had to drive to the train station, which is about 15 miles, and pay a fortune for the privilege of leaving my car there before I even got on the bloody thing. Once I arrived at Paddington Station I needed to get off the train and get on an underground one. When that finally reached its destination I had to disembark and catch a bloody taxi because it was about two miles from my meeting location and I was late. What a massive pain in the backside.
I like to get in the car (at a time of my choosing) and head off where ever I’m going under my own pace without any external constraints. I don’t want to plan my day around specific, timed departures and I don’t wish to spend an hour surfing the net trying to work out timings for several different methods of transport which, combined, will cost more than it would have done to drive.
A return trip from Oxford to Manchester is around 300 miles by car. In my car that’s over half a tank of fuel – about £45 worth. Cost on the train? About £10 to park the car and £70 for the train fare. I realise my fuel costs don’t include car running costs but still, the train is almost twice as much. A couple of years ago I was looking for the best way to get to Scotland and it was cheaper to fly than it was to get the train. Ludicrous.
Of course it doesn’t end there. Once you’re on the train you have to try and find somewhere to actually sit down. Ah yes, let me mention First Class train tickets. I’m guaranteed a seat then aren’t I? Probably, and the aforementioned ticket to Manchester rises in cost to £180 (which is four times more expensive now). So I had to stand up for about half of the last trip I took on a train. If you’re going anywhere near an underground train in London at rush hour then forget it. If it’s a hot, summer’s day then you’re really screwed. You can look forward to having a couple of sweaty armpits aimed in your general direction as you continually get bumped into by the bloke who (evidently) consumed the world’s strongest curry the night before.
Buses are often worse and, depending on the time of day, are more likely to be utilising by drunks or screaming kids. I’m all for the use of an iPod, for example, to drown out the noise but not when you sit within earshot of me. My hypocrisy knows no bounds, sure, but I don’t want to listen to the metallic tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk baseline coming from your headphones.
I’ve covered the fact that none of these public services will take you anywhere close to your actual destination but I’ve yet to mention an additional point; the weather. Nothing says ‘professional’ better than turning up to your important meeting looking like a drowned poodle. No, I refuse to carry an umbrella with me everywhere on the off chance that it might rain. Similarly, I don’t carry a gun just in case we’re invaded or a Swiss Army knife for when I bump into a horse with a stone in its hoof. Call me unprepared if you like, but my car has a roof, and that stops me getting wet.
I’m also guaranteed a seat (which won’t have discarded chewing gum on it) and I’ll be free of interruptions from random members of the public. No-one smelling of urine will come and sit next to me and no sweaty person will attempt to suffocate me with their armpit. I won’t be able to hear kids screaming at each other any more than I’ll be subjected to hanging around in the cold while the public transport of choice is late.
Sure I’ll have to put up with traffic in the car, but buses don’t get around that problem either (that’s what motorbikes are for). Trains are obviously pretty good for avoiding congestion, as mentioned, they’re extortionate and I have to somehow travel 15 miles before I can even catch one.
So the Government would have us use public transport but won’t invest in it until we all do. Catch 22 eh? Not really. Don’t ask me to do something and then promise you’ll improve the service after I’ve done it. That’s a leap of faith I can’t make, especially when it’s a bunch of politicians making the promise. The US Government didn’t ask NASA to put some people in space and, after they’ve done so, then provide the resources for the actual rocket. On that basis I’d like to start a nice new glossy magazine. If lots of big companies could plough money into advertising up front I’ll make some vague promises about filling it with articles and millions of people will buy it. It’s not much of a business plan is it? Are you listening Mr Cameron?
