Flip Flops

The heat wave which has swept the country has been very welcome after the last couple of forgettable summers. However, being too hot can be very uncomfortable and its effects are demonstrated by the change of clothing worn by the general populace. One thing that puzzles me though is the infatuation with flips flops. I perfectly understand their place if you're unfortunate enough to live in an impoverished third world country and you're below the bread line. If you have to trek five miles carrying a bucket with five holes in it just to fetch your daily water supply then the chances are you're not doing it in the latest Nike Air Jordans. Why, though, do women who own a dozen other pairs of real shoes choose to wear a couple of bits of foam held together with cheap plastic?

The weather’s warm, yes I get it, but that's not enough I’m afraid. Shoes are generally supposed to offer comfort and support to your feet. You could also argue they're supposed to look good. Flip flops do none of these things. Do your feet really get that sweaty? You really ought to see a doctor or something about that. Put it like this, I work in an air-conditioned office and the bastard things were everywhere. It may be thirty two degrees outside but inside it's no warmer than a mid-October afternoon and, roughly, the same temperature as the rest of the year at your desk. You don't feel the urge to wear flip flops in January, do you?

Why does this concern me? Well they look ridiculous but that on its own is not enough to be bothered about. If it was then my next rant would be picking on teenagers who reckon they look awesome by hanging their trousers down below their arses and waddling like penguins when they walk. No, it's the infernal 'flap, flap, flap' sound as they walk past which makes me want to tear the offending items from their feet and force feed them to the owner. If you want to show off your scabby feet and half painted toe nails then, by all means, go ahead. Please have some consideration for those of us whose hearing is functional though.

I’m not known for keeping my feelings under wraps and, after one of my several verbal rants on the subject, a ‘dress code policy’ was distributed around the office (not that I’m claiming any influence over its creation). Amusingly, there was a ‘no flip flops’ entry. Several of us chuckled at the indignation shown by more than a few apoplectic girls because, you know, they have it really tough. Being able to wear flowery dresses and flip flops is only fair because, after all, the men have to wear suits and ties which are much more comfortable in the height of summer. Anyway, staggeringly, after launching a protest the ‘ban’ was diluted to the point of worthlessness when it was decided that smart flip flops weren’t actually flip flops at all and so they were fine.

This is why democracy is a bad thing.