About Me

I tell myself I’m only human. Things irritate me, I get impatient at having to wait for anything and my tolerance levels are so poor that if I were engineered as a safety device everyone would be dead before breakfast. I’ve wandered the planet for long enough to begin paying attention to some of the imponderable happenings, which cause the corner of my lip to curl into a snarl and start me muttering to myself like a schizophrenic on speed.

So, I sat down and analysed some of the things we encounter everyday and what they mean to me. If they’re annoying, I’ve probably added a large dose of scathing sarcasm. Apparently it’s the lowest form of wit but we all have to build from somewhere and from what I can see most people are still floundering around in the basement so I take it as a compliment. It’s not all bad though. I’m not officially the most miserable bastard on the planet yet so you may find praise in here too (and even some factual information – I'm not always drunk).

What you have then is a series of articles of varying lengths, some serious and some verging on lunacy but all on subjects which mean something to me. I have a large collection of writing, which I'll release on here over time, together with any new works. A good ninety five percent of what I write is true, down to my portrayed life experiences (which are generally what sparks the specific interest in the first place). If any it makes you laugh for a second, then I’m happy. If it makes you think then I’m delighted, not that I’m suggesting anything here is of groundbreaking importance in the grand scheme of things.

I’ve often pondered whether others share my bemusement of things in our everyday lives and over time I’ve discovered I’m not alone. This has proved healthy for my sanity, if nothing else. I’m yet to find anyone who agrees on all subjects but I reckon there’s a few things here which will strike a chord you didn’t even know existed in your sub-consciousness. Not that it’s deep in any way, of course. Some of it may be controversial but how can I tell when they’re my thoughts? I think I’m fairly normal but I’m also sure Hilter thought of himself as a completely well adjusted humanitarian. I’ll have to wait for the feedback. That being said, I’m pretty confident the lowest level of emotion I’ll be able to provoke is one of mild (dis)agreement. Again, I’ve got no idea how far that scale will stretch so I’ll hold off on changing my phone number and employing a bodyguard for the moment.

Anyway, I’m rambling. To anyone who reads this and enjoys it, thank you. If you hate it, thanks anyway, I think. If you’re a psychologist who is fascinated in what makes an individual critical of his entire environment (often in a self deprecating manner) I’d love not to hear from you. Those of you who know me will doubtless be interested (really?) exactly how much I can find to complain about in any situation (here’s a clue; it’s a lot). Or maybe you won’t and I’ve overestimated our friendship through the years. Thanks for stringing me along.

To the rest of you, enjoy.

Damon

PS. All offers of multi-million pound book deals and TV appearances can be sent to me via damonspencer @ btinternet.com (without the spaces, obviously).